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Should You Pay or Should He?
My boyfriend and I always take each other out on dates. Although I have friends who have boyfriends that do not usually allow their girls to pay for a dinner or movie, I think that's quite a hefty investment especially if he doesn't have a steady job/career. Chivalry is always nice, but what are your thoughts in paying or taking your SO out on a date?
8 Answers
best answer
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I try to keep it even: He pays for something, I pay for something... or he'll pay for this entire date, and I'll get the next one. Chivalry IS nice but being practical for the long term is even nicer. :P
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Chivalry is a nice idea but not every guy has the means to keep paying for every date, yes. I don't mind going halves or keeping things even, but usually you'll find that men who are very in love with their women want to be able to pay to take her out. It's a bit of an ego thing, apparently.
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I like the being fair idea. If the guy doesn't let the girl pay, then the girl would reciprocate in other ways like doing favors or cooking for him or taking him somewhere that he would enjoy. My guy friends tell me that they just like hearing a simple "thank you" but I don't think girls should expect guys to always pay. There are other ways to give back (and I'm not just talking about sexual favors!!).
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Women who tote that men should be given the financial burden of dating -- are wrong as well as showing irony towards the equality rhetorics.
To answer the question: Any means of fair share should work -- by either taking turns or both paying; so long as there is the notion of "receiving and reciprocating" or both bearing the financial burden -- is present.
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At the moment I am unemployed and my SO has a full time job so when we go out he pays BUT relationships are about sharing and caring and a way in which you can show how you feel is picking up the tab for a meal or tickets to the movies. I think both parties should pay, if they can afford to. So one time you pay and the next they pay.
Ultimatey though, isn't it a bit petty to be penny piching?
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if he asks me out to dinner, than i expect him to pay. but once youve been in the relationship for awhile, it's completely unrealistic to think that he will still pay for everything.
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My boyfriend has a tendency to want to pay and while it's cute and a gentlemanly thing to do, I rarely let him. Every now and then he gets his chance and succeeds in doing so, but I never expect him to and I always have enough money to pay at least my way. You'd be stupid to expect your SO, male or female, to pay for everything in today's society. Jobs are scarce and money is something you have to be a little frugal about sometimes. Be realistic: sometimes splitting the bill is a good thing, for both of your wallets.
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I believe in teamwork just like how women and men did both of hunting and gathering back then. :)
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