-
Focusing Too Much On the Future Instead of the Present
This has already happened to me twice with two different people. They would ask something along the lines if I would see us together for a long time. I tend to be realistic and would say "We'll see." Of course, both times, they ended up being mad at me. Upon asking other people, some say that it's a question to ensure security while others say it is a pretty big question to ask. However, both times, I always want to be with them and keep the relationship going. While I know that being asked this question is inevitable, I want to know what people feel is an appropriate answer. I know people and/or feelings can change over time (It, of course, doesn't mean I definitely will). But I also want to let them know that I want to be with them.
Do any of you ask this to your SO? How did they answer and how did you react or vice versa?
3 Answers
best answer
-
If you feel as though you really like the person, than I would say something like (in an enthusiastic tone) "Well I definitely hope we will be, but I guess we'll have to wait & find out, huh?" or "Well I can't predict the future, but I do really like you, so let's see where this takes us." As long as you seem enthusiastic about the person and sound interested then I think it's okay to throw in something to make the person realize that you can't be living too far in the future.
If the person doesn't "accept" an answer along these lines, particularly if you've been dating for a very short period of time, than they seem rather needy and you might want to get out while you can!
-
I have asked this of my SO and he's asked it of me at some point in our relationship. I'll admit that when he told me he could see himself spending the rest of his life with me, I actually freaked out and ran out the door (you gotta allow for the fact it was the first time anyone's ever said anything like that to me, so naturally I got a bit frightened off). When we next spoke about the future of us together, besides a few hiccups where misunderstanding occurred, we got a pretty good rough idea of what we might want and how to work towards it in the present.
Common sense dictates that it's not always a good question to ask in the early stages of a relationship. Maybe being frank with them would help, seeing as you do want to continue being in a relationship with them. It will be ultimately their decision whether your sincere desire to continue being with them is good enough for them, that is out of your hands, I'm afraid.
-
I agree with being optimisitc in your response. Best thing is to be honest and say how you feel in that moment. While nothing is guaranteed, it's good to stay positive and aim for a longterm relationship if that's what the two of you want. It's hard to tell whichever response you give will result in his/her feelings being hurt or actually being content. It's always a rough situation to be in when posed that question of the future.
Browse by Category...
| Category | Topics | Posts |
|---|---|---|
| Dating | 479 | 2,256 |
| Relationships | 198 | 1,032 |
| Breakups | 71 | 448 |
| Sex | 54 | 400 |
| Other | 56 | 266 |
Today's Reputation Leaders
-
No users match this description
Please click below to try a different view
