Wednesday, 11 November 2009
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Is Two Weeks Too Soon to Have Sex?
Q. Recently, a girlfriend and I were talking about doing the deed with our boyfriends. She has been dating her boyfriend since they were 13 (we're all 18 now), and she thinks it is wrong of me to have already had sex with my boyfriend, whom I have been dating for about 2 weeks. She says we went too fast, too soon.
Now, keep in mind, we were "talking" for a good 2 months beforehand.
Do you think 2 weeks is too soon? How long do you wait?
A. There is no standard amount of time to wait before having sex. It all depends on how comfortable you are with the other person. Two weeks is absolutely fine as long as you (or he) weren't pressured into anything and hopefully used protection. I think it can be detrimental to live your life by a timeline. Everyone is different--what works for your friend may not necessarily work for you. You can only do what feels right for you, forget what your friend or anyone else says--it's your life after all (and you're an adult).
And as a side note: your friend has been in a relationship a long time--she may have a lot of good advice from all those years in coupledom, but she may have also forgotten what it's like to be in a new relationship. She was 13 when she started her relationship, you're 18--that's a huge difference that she may not be taking into account.
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- From: thefatxxfriend@xanga
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Comments (75)
I always thought after the third date it would be ok...
It totally depends on the people and the situation. Mostly if you want an actual relationship to happen you hold off, but my husband and I started out as a fling and we ended up getting married, so...I might be full of crap. =p
My boyfriend and I didn't wait. I knew him for almost half a year beforehand, and we'd been best friends since we met. Then he asked me out, and I had the same situation...but it felt right. It happened when it happened...you shouldn't put a time stamp on something like that. Feel comfortable with yourselves as individuals and as a couple, and let things flow.
honestly, yeah, i think it's too soon, even if you've been "talking" for two months (which isn't that long a time either). teenage boys shouldn't really be trusted with these things, not until you can really get to know them at least; chances are if he got you into bed after two weeks his intentions for the relationship probably aren't the greatest.
you should fuck right away.
i really don't think you can label when your "ready" by how long you have been dating/going out whatever...if you feel you are ready then do it....and who cares what others think about your decision...i feel if you feel your ready and both of you feel it is time then do it...its your body do with it what you will.
I'll agree with the advice that was given and say that the number of weeks, months, years you know someone should not affect whether you are ready to have sex or not. It is your body and what you happen to use it for is entirely up to you.
With that said, if you care about him and likewise, get to know him a bit more. It's probably just a physical attraction right now but there may be more to him that you really don't know.
IMO it's way too soon. sometimes people don't take you serious in a relationship if you jump to sex right away.
xo
I agreed with the advice that was given. You've known him for two months prior to dating him for two weeks. In those time, you probably had a good idea how he is like that made you comfortable and trust him enough to sleep with him.
Just bc you both slept together does not mean he has bad intentions towards you or the relationship. No one really knows what a person is thinking except for the person itself.
wow completely agree with the advice this time. meeting someone at 18 is completely different from meeting someone at 13. and i don't think there's a specific time frame on when it's okay to have sex. just do what you feel most comfortable doing.
I'm not the best person to ask. I put out on the first date (only time I ever did that) and he ended up marrying me
So, you know, doing it "too soon" can still work out.
Though I don't really advocate it, I also don't condemn it.
@whitetrashpoet@xanga - hahaha. then it worked for you. ;D just kidding.
Well, my recent ex and I started having sex after one week of dating.
There is no "too soon" for sex because it's subjective and all up to the individuals involved. Don't let people slut shame you. Do what feels right for you.
my girlfriend offered sex on the first date (right after lunch too!), but I refused.
maybe because I wasn't ready? maybe because I wanted to know her more. we did the deed the next day however. In my book, sex on the first day is a no-no, no matter how hot you are.
I think its better to wait. Sex has become a lot less meaningful.
i had sex with my boyfriend after 2 weeks too. we talked for maybe a month before not even.
don't listen to people who say its too soon. clearly if they've had a relationship since they were little they don't know the proper time limits to wait.
i lost my viriginity when i was 18 after waiting purely cuz i didnt want to wait anymore. i dont really regret it cuz sex is just sex.
me and my boyfriend have been together for like 5 months now and considering we'd both had a couple partners under our belts already it didnt matter when we had sex cuz it wasnt as big a deal the first time, yet it was still special just cuz we cared about each other.
IMO its only not a good idea to have sex with someone sooner rather than later, if their purpose for whatever type of relationship your planning on having with them is different that what yours is.
like if you look at the person as your SO, but they only consider you a fling, i'd say dont screw them.
but otherwise if you both plan on staying with each other for awhile, who cares when you screw them really.
as the person up there said, "i thought it was okay to screw after the third date". do as you please.
Good answer. Especially the part about everyone is different. Just go with what's right to you. Dang who cares about others.
It does kind of seem like it was too soon to me, but at the same time, I really can't say that it is. I mean, say someone says that two people in a relationship should wait at least 6 months before they have sex. It is unreasonable for everyone to follow that, since not everyone feels the exact same way or is in the same mindset within six months of the relationship. It really just depends on when you feel is the right time. What is too soon to some people, could be the right time for others. Don't follow the calendar, follow your heart. :) Haha ok that was cheesy but you know what I mean... lol
Too soon. I think people should repress their urge a little bit longer to make sure it isn't something they'll regret. Jump into something too soon and there may be consequences.
- Kunoichi
hrm i had sex with my boyfriend aftera a month. we talked for like.. 2.5 years though. idk. sometimes it just happens and the chemistry is just there.
@yewskinnymuhfukas@xanga - Agreed.
In all honesty, my girlfriend of a year and half (come the saturday after next) is my first girlfriend.
We kinda got that out of the way three days in. Oops.
Wait. I take that back. I regret none of it, regardless of if I'm going to "burn in hell" for it.
two weeks is too soon in my opinion. i knew my boyfriend for 8 months before we started dating, and for one month before we were dating we hung out obsessively (read: everyone thought we were dating). i've been with him for 8 months now and we haven't had sex... the answer given is a good one, but i think you should have waited.
Whatever works for you. Hell, I can't even remember when my boyfriend and I first had sex. lol it's been way too long.
i'm probably one of the worst examples. my boyfriend &+ i got busy on our second official date. but we had been "talking" for .... hmm a good three months before hand. but three years later, my love for him has done nothing but grow. so it just depends. as long as you're comfortable with your decision &+ strong enough to handle the outcome if it's not what you expected ... then i guess go for it. but you already boinked so it doesn't make a difference.